Thursday, November 5, 2009

Not all poetry has to rhyme

In one of my poetry classes we were asked to write a poem called a Sestina, which is an unrhymed, 39-lined poem with six key words. The six words are to be randomly chosen and then with a topic in mind, just start writing. You have to make sure that each line ends in a specific word... Following the numbered format below. The numbers do not change, however you have writer's free will to take one or more of the six words and use it in a different context for example(here & hear or starving, starvation, even hunger) which can change through out the poem and sit in place for that particular word. Each line does not have to be a complete sentence, you can roll down to the next line, end that sentence and even begin a new one all in the same line, as long as the ending word of each line stays in format. Understand? haha

Anyway, I had gone to church the morning before I started writing and a lady came to talk about the starvation that is taking place in The Woodlands, which if you are not familiar with this city in Texas... it holds a stigma of being a place of wealth and close family orientation. A city, you would never assume to have issues concerning starvation.

The woman was very passionate in what she is involved in. There is a group that was formed to fill backpacks with necessary foods for an entire weekend- in hopes that these children who are fed at school during the week, will have nourishment through out their weekend while they are at home. I imagine, this most likely makes it a little easier to complete homework assignments that are due the following week, when you don't have to worry as much about food as you typically would.

Lost Camelot

Went to church, caught myself (1)
Listening to words that stole my attention. (2)
The hurting is all around us, (3)
She said we can all be of great help. (4)
How did I not notice the children starving? (5)
Why go there, when we are needed here? (6)
Families. Starving. Here? (6)
The Woodlands? Our 'Camelot' I can't imagine myself (1)
Lasting a day- starving. (5)
Families need our attention. (2)
Following pink slips, anything helps. (4)
The hurting is hiding all around us. (3)
Making the difference, starts with us (3)
Helping those in need- here. (6)
The children of 'Camelot' need help. (4)
I want to show love, re-focused off myself (1)
And put all my attention (2)
On those in need- starving. (5)

A new meaning to the phrase- 'I'm starving!' (5)
It comes down to us (3)
Giving our attention (2)
To the families-- here. (6)
No longer focused on ourselves, (1)
We help. (4)

Our abundance can help (4)
Ease the hunger. (5)
When I think about myself (1)
Being blessed. It lay heavy on my heart for us (3)
To ensure the children are being fed here. (6)
How can they even pay attention (2)
In school- when their attention (2)
Is to what their next meal is? Who is willing to help? (4)
Do you hear (6)
The significance of my words? People are starving. (5)
The hurting is so prevalent around us. (3)
And though, I am not physically suffering myself, (1)

I now know- we get fed by feeding hunger. (5)
'Camelot' has been taken from us, (3)
My ignorance blinded me and now I can see for myself. (1)

This just made me realize that you don't have to travel to Africa to help children in need. There is a good chance that the same issue is taking place in a city nearby. If you have the desire, get involved. Helping others in need and expecting nothing in return provides a feeling that is unexplainable.

P.S. Im not assigning you this poem, but if you feel lead to write your own- perfection set far aside- I would love to read it! :)

SWS

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

The Journey

Everyone hears how life is a journey, blah blah blah... they say it in every yoga class...it starts to lose meaning after a while--as many things tend to do. Until you dive deeper and grasp an understanding different from the one you had before.

I am 21 years old, I did all the partying I could handle in my first two years of college and Im at a point in my life where I am ready to grow up, however some aspects of my life that are in my control were holding me back. 90 days or so ago, I had a different outlook on my current situation. I was wrapped up in a boyfriend of two years, had an amazing job and was going to school. There is more to me as an individual than who Im dating, the job I have or going to school to just get through until graduation. Where am I going with this? a place that many people don't realize they are in until they are much older and have much more invested in the different areas of their lives, whether that be a relationship or a career, etc.

Not too long ago, I had feelings internally that I had not ever felt before, I was not happy from the inside out, I was sick of faking it altogether. I'm not here to share my regrets, because honestly, at one point down the road you see how that 'regret' turns into something powerful, something you can share. My ex boyfriend and I are great people as individuals, but together it was toxic. Now, don't get me wrong, we had plenty of amazing times, I learned a lot from him about parts of the world I have not yet seen, about myself and about an amazing individual whose personality and way of life is in many ways completely opposite from mine. I saw over the years how he conformed to some of my ways and I to his, and then there were those areas that remained and our only option was to agree to disagree.

For a majority of my life I was a fairly black and white person, everything was this or that. In my journey thus far, I learned a lot about seeing the color, which in many ways can be looked at as the opportunities. I see that no two people are the same-- which is something I already knew, but I had no real experience that was real proof of that. I am intrigued by the small similarities or things you have in common with people, because in the grand scheme of things it is hard to come by. On the other hand, the many differences leave room for debate or conversation really, which turns into learnings and sometimes closer bonds for reasons you may not understand at the time.

I realized something about myself that is a little distracting-- I can't be a girl friend right now. Its funny because everyone around me is getting engaged, married, and having babies... while I'm closer to becoming a nun than being married. Okay, that is an exaggeration. It is just farther in my future than it was before, which again, I feel a sense of opportunity there. Anyway, I was going insane being in a relationship, not for the obvious reasons... I still care about him, support his goals and ambitions, so on and so forth, however, it's not about him--it is about me!

Now, that may seem selfish, it is. But a good selfish in the way that, personally I was not where I needed to be and still am not to be able to function in a serious relationship. I have way too many things to learn on my own. Again, this is where I see opportunity arising. For me-- when I am consumed with someone else, I focus more on their needs than my own, I typically want to feel wanted and then I realize I have no time for myself. This is a toxic cycle, a challenge for many. My past two relationships have been childlike in the sense that we became so dependent on one another because you think that means you love each other and you are serious about each other, when in reality you are stopping the growth of that person you say you love, you are interfering where you shouldn't and it turns into turmoil-- more of a relationship you have to hold onto rather than one that just holds on.

I know that one day I will find a man who meets my high expectations and I his, but in the meantime, I want to know myself so inside and out and be totally confident in meeting their expectations. I see relationships in a way that in order for it to work, in my opinion... your relationship with God needs to be deep, as if he is the one you are dating. In 1 Corinthians it talks about how marriage is one of the greatest challenges we will face and it is almost suggested to us to not be married. This leaves room for you to grow closer to your God and do what you were called to do on earth, without the distraction of someone else. It goes on to explain that if you choose to get married, it will be blessed by God. The point that I see here is that you have a purpose and personally I see my past relationships as distractions that were deterring me from the path God planned for me. Now, this goes back to how I want to focus on myself... I want to do things that make me happy and proud to be me. That includes forming strong bonds with new friends, maintaining or rekindling old ones and loving perfect strangers in a God-like way(whatever that means to you). Why are these relationships so important to me? because I forgot what friends do for you, it is not healthy to exhaust everything onto your significant other... make room for other relationships.

That covers the relationship side of my exhausting situation. I ended up quitting my job that I loved so much in order to get my priorities in line. I have a lot more time to be great in school, which provides more motivation through it all. This whole bit that you have read is kind of the turning point I guess you could say. I have chose to really get right with my God and it has done amazing things for me. I have joined two different bible study groups that really challenge me and I will most likely be inspired to write and share :)

I would recommend if you personally can relate to any of this there is a book by the name of I Kissed Dating Goodbye, by David Harris. This author was 21 years old when he experienced his 'turning point' and in a sense gave up on dating and focused elsewhere. It is well worth the time to read!

One thing I am learning is that if you are focused on your purpose and what God intended to use you for on earth, then while your running and growing closer to God-- one day you will run beside someone who has been doing the same thing you have and it will not be a relationship that deters, but one that is supported and held together by faith in God. Now, that is a powerful team!

xoxo


Newbie

I am totally new at this, I have heard about it non-stop, but I am not the twitterer type and apparently my attitude about these networking tools was keeping me from something I can see myself really enjoying. Bummer. Well, I'm glad I made it finally. My friend Kaci inspired me as I was reading her blog that was completely from her heart and it made me realize how important it is to listen to friends, co-workers, or perfect strangers. Listening is a skill that I personally struggle with daily, but it feels good to learn from others' experiences and to be heard as well. I think writing is a form of therapy for some, including myself. So, sorry ahead of time if you personally can't relate to some topics I choose, but hopefully I can reach out to at least one person-- thats the idea right? Well, I'm not completely sure how this whole thing works, bare with me! More to come later :)